Change your mind

You’re standing at the edge of the metro platform

with no intent to board the train but to jump off in front of it.

The platform is filled with all the shapes and sizes of strangers.

If you jump, they will be left with a forever connect with you.

Maybe you've ticked all the boxes in your head

of all the feelings you wanted to feel before you die.

So maybe you’ll jump.

Within micro seconds the train will hit you, smash you

And you’ll be a pulpy mess of yourself.

You might have calculated all the risks yesterday,

But who knows if you’d turn bad at math today?

I have heard that trains move faster thank you think.
So when you’ll jump

Those strangers will watch you fall

and will be able to do absolutely nothing about it.

Some will watch you fall and die. And they will be changed forever.

If you die, you may rest in peace while others won’t.

Your death will forever haunt them, and your ghost 
will never quit following them.

You’ll keep dying over and over again in their dreams,

and over and over again, they won’t be able to do a thing about it.

There must be something ugly about your life that has pushed you so far

that you’re standing at the edge of the platform

but just FYI there’s nothing that’s beautiful about suicide either.

There are many better ways to die.

So step back from the edge of the platform,

let your mind be changed

move way back from the yellow line, turn around and breathe.

If you see a clock there, don’t just see the clock;

do what it does. And keep going.

While you’re going away, think of 
the moment between your jump and the ground,

what if you changed your mind then?

Lights, Camera... Cloudburst

Someone who thinks death

Is the scariest thing,

Perhaps doesn't know

a thing about

The crumbling life at

The mercy of nature.

Ushering from the highest of

Heights like Himalayan ranges,

Hitting the depths of foothills,

The nature’s agony brings erosion

Of both soil and lives.

Just flattening the world

In the wee hours.

People in deep sleep

Sink in their bedrooms.

The nightmare doesn't end

Even on opening their eyes.

They see everything they own

Being washed away

And they just cannot pick it up

(and put it back).

Many there stand still

To face the stark reality,

To see the blank sky beyond the ridge,

Knowing their feet had come

to the end of the world.

They drift a little, take a millisecond

and seep into the rushing water.

 

However, many of them

Who fail to face the pain of death,

The mercy of nature leaves them

With nothing but a life

To find wailing chest and tired knees

To curl up and hope to sleep.

They listen to the sound of the

 Approaching helicopters,

As the soundtrack of

Long awaited hope and life.

Until they realise that

The chopper is ridden by

A politician for his trip.

One of the best things

For a girl could be

Growing, growing 
and growing up
As a little heartbeat

In the hands of the
 first man of her life.

To become the replica
 of her father

Would be the best ever

Gift to her.

It would help

In his absence on few days,

The father’s day,

For instance.

Time travels 
only in one direction

But some of the
 thing could be hers

Only if he believed like her

That he was not his illness.

Threesome

It was

You

Me and

the Silence.

It rose from

the cold feet

and sat amidst

our more than

hot bodies

like a third person.

It gasped

and choked

between our

twirled tongues.

It sobbed

as our skin

perspire on the

outside and within.

Screaming silence

then arranged itself

in between the

rocks of our thighs.

It gathered

all its wrath

and died

as I sighed

with a shudder.

I had a threesome.

a little more than stronger

If you’re strong enough to do strange things to your un-stranger self.

If you’re strong enough to run from every living thing, including yourself.

If you’re strong enough leave everything aside and concentrate on ‘I Quit’.

If you're strong enough to take that blade and draw it across your flesh.

If you're strong enough to take those pills and swallow them in silence.

If you're strong enough to tie that rope and hang with it from the ceiling fan.

If you’re strong enough to lay yourself down in front of the speeding train.

If you're strong enough to jump off that bridge, my friend.

Probably you are way too strong enough, to live.

May be you don’t know that everything can be overcome
 and a life can be lived.

Death

It is watching me. It is waiting for me to give up. It is waiting for me to stop believing in what we call as life.  So everyday, I get up and I remind myself that death is there, just behind me, waiting. 

No, the death I am talking about is the death on the inside. The death of my spirit. It is waiting to laugh about my wasted time. It is waiting to laugh on how I set things to achieve, and I fail. It is waiting for my voice to tremble and swallow my words. It is waiting to tell me that my existence is a synonym of meaningless. It is waiting to reach me when my

My life doesn’t end when I stop breathing. This is certainly something when your heart stops beating and your body slowly loses its warmth. And you lie down and you shut up forever.

My life doesn’t end when I become unable to make a fist. My life ends when I stop trying to make a fist. My life ends the moment I stop working towards something greater than me. I would end the moment I retreat from my sense of duties.

I do not know when the real death- the stiff body death- comes. I can just try to keep it away, but can never defeat it . No one can. That is Okay. That is not even scary.  I am not scared of the moment when my nervous system shuts down forever. It is soothing to know that I will return to the silent dark nothing that I came from. It shall change the existence. It shall change the residence. I believe the stiff body death must be beautiful. Because once you meet, it hypnotizes you and takes you away from living anymore.

But what I am scared is of another death. I am scared of the death of smallness. Where there is not more than mere existence.  I am afraid of the death where my mind gives up trying to live before my body does. Every day I wrestle with this death thought and every day I have to kick myself and scream at the face of the earth “Today I’ll succeed. Today I will use my time wisely. Today I’ll live.”