Bitter is rather better

There are pains that painkillers can’t kill.

There are muscles you can’t un-tense.

There are scars you can’t undone.

There are relations that are nothing but unhealthy.

There are these absolute strange moments,

with the most familiar people.

Every time I bite my nails, I like to ignore

the meaning in the depth of my teeth.

The size and shape of my feet

remind people of my dead grandmother.

They should know it wouldn’t be easy for her to get to heaven

because they can’t stop looking down.

My eighty four year old grandmother

used to wake up before her memory,

always with the ghosts alongside

that partnered her for twenty five years.

But this morning, she woke up with a sigh

that escaped her body and danced

 in the wind like the white flag.

Don’t think I am like a stuck cap of a bottle,

a jammed window pane that I will open up.

I don’t have much to open up but two hands

with two middle fingers to swivel around.

So when they asked me why don’t I visit them,

I wanted to grab them by shoulders as my reply

However I only said, just out of habit.

My parents chose my name,

my ancestors my surname.

And that’s enough.

Everything else is my personal choice.